>How to Make White Rice a la Puerto Rico.

>In 17 easy steps…

1. Pour oil in a large skillet. Pour a little more. A little more. A little more.

2. Wait ’till the oil is good and hot. Add rice.

3. Sprinkle some salt. More salt. More salt. Aack! Too much salt!

4. Scoop out some salt.

5. Add water. A little more. Enough? Who knows.

6. When water reaches a boil, lower the heat. Place lid on pan, leave to simmer.

7. Forget about rice. Sit down to read books to the kids.

8. Smell a burning smell… what could that be?

9. Wander into kitchen, sniffing. The RICE!!!!!

10. Dump burnt rice into garbage can while loudly cursing.

11. Tell the kids nothing is wrong and they cannot repeat the words you just said.

12. Repeat steps 1-6.

13. Check rice, realize it is kind of done, but still a bit crunchy. Add water.

14. Check rice, realize it is a gummy, pasty, white, over salted mess.

15. Serve rice. Cover with generous helping of beans.

16. Eat gummy, white, overly salted rice and beans, while muttering curses under your breath.

17. Wish Tia Esme or Madrina were here to make your rice for you.


3 thoughts on “>How to Make White Rice a la Puerto Rico.

  1. >Hey! Why’d you throw out that yummy BURNT stuff on the bottom! It’s called “pegado” pronounced “pegao” (pay gah o) in Honduras, and people actually fight over who’s getting the pegao! Your recipe WAS funny though, gotta admit!

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