Have you ever thought to yourself…

Self, you haven’t had nearly enough opportunities to hold your tongue around the children?

If you ever feel the need to hold back some curse words, if you ever think you have not had enough chances in a day to be patient, if you love setting yourself up for a nearly impossible task packaged up as a fun craft, well, I have the golden opportunity for you.

Go get yourself one of these.

Michael’s sells these things at a very attractive price and I keep buying them. Just as most women have a certain amnesia about the pain of childbirth, so also there is a certain amnesia involved with these puzzles. We had a long cooped up day yesterday and a craft sounded fun to me. We were going to do Shrinky Dinks, but I had bought a special kind that needed special markers (yay me!) so we moved on to this puzzle. How hard could it be? I thought.

The biggest and most important thought I want you to come away with after reading this post is this. After you run out and buy one of these puzzles, do NOT follow the directions. The directions tell you to pop all seven thousand nine hundred and forty eleven pieces from their designated spots. After you do that, you will realize that every single piece is numbered and you must put them together in numerical order in order for this puzzle to work. Of course, each piece is not in itself numbered. No! There are no numbers written on the pieces, only on the diagram which shows you where each numbered piece would be if only you had not popped them all out as you were instructed to. Add into the mess four small children who really, really, really, really want to help you, and it’s a lot of fun.

The scene in our house last night sounded something like a scene from A Christmas Story where Dad is fighting with the boiler, or the Bumpeses dogs steal the turkey, or any other moment when he flings about curse-like invective. He stays just on this side of foul language but it’s a mighty fine line. I walked that line last night.

All that to say, the scene here was not pretty. But the bird is!

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